My Sweet Father

My sweet Father, I miss you so much.  It has been 2 1/2 months since you joined God in Heaven and I think I am just starting to feel it.  Yesterday was Father's Day, and I didn't know what to think.  When I was purchasing cards for other family members, I stopped for a moment when I saw the 'From Daughter' cards.  I hadn't thought about the day much until then.  So after the Madison and I gave Dan his gifts,  I found my thoughts straying to you.  I thought about things we did together and stuff you taught me. 

I'm going to start writing them down.  I don't want to forget them. 

• As a little kid, I loved it when you cut up my eggs for me.  Sorry Mom, no one could do it exactly like Dad did.
• I loved weekends with you as we watched any and almost every sport on TV.  I learned so much about random sports.  You amazed me with the knowledge you had about many of them. 
• I loved most of your music.  Not all, but most.
• I loved helping you oil the joints, or whatever they were, on the tractor.  That was fun.  I really loved pretending to drive it.
• I loved helping you change the oil on the car. 
• You made sure I knew how to check fluid levels and how to change a light bulb on a car.  That came in very handy.
• It was a lot of fun visiting you at work.  I loved getting to play on the computer in your office.  All I could do was three different things, but it was cool.
• I loved looking for you and Granny at my school plays.  You two were always near the front.
• You loved to remind me of the time you took me back to Mrs. Weedon's class so I could give her a present.  I vaguely remember that.
• You taught me a whole lot about football.  Dan thanks you for that.  :-)
• I will miss our long OU football discussions. 
• I'll miss you declaring that OU should just fire Coach "insert name" and let you take over.
• I miss calling you with stories about Madison.  You especially loved to hear how much she had grown.  You loved her so much.  I hope I never forget the sound of your voice when you asked "How's my grand baby?"  I could hear your smile through the phone.
• I loved your random early morning phone calls because you got to work really early.
• I loved hearing how you were 'practically a doctor' because you became a first responder at work.
• I loved that all of my girl friends in school were your daughters.  You and Mom would have adopted Jamie if her Mom would have allowed it. :-)
• I won't forget driving to Las Vegas with you and Mom for the wedding.  You and I took turns driving and it was a lot of fun. 
• I won't forget the smile on your and Mom's face on the way into town the day your payed your home off.  Little did we know the drive back would be completely different because Dr. Herndon had been on the ball and noticed a random protein marker was elevated in your blood work, meaning cancer.
• I remember crying on my way into town the evening after we were told you had cancer.  I prayed that God would heal you so you could walk me down the aisle.  You did and it was perfect.
• Sally and I had a blast getting ready in the hotel room as you gave us your two cents from your spot in the room. The three of us had a good time together. 
• You were so cute as Dan showed you how to play video poker at Caesar's.  You cashed out when you were up $2.50. 
• I loved watching you hold Madison when she was born.  You were barely well enough to be there but no one was stopping you from seeing that grand baby.
• I loved watching you try to get Madison to give you a cheerio.  She wouldn't.  You loved it.
• I love how much you loved Mom and that you never failed to show it or say it.  Especially the last 15 years.  In fact, you said it more the last few years.  That really taught me a lot.

A lot of yesterday was filled with these wonderful memories of you and resulted in me crying for a long time.  I laid my head on Dan's lap and let it out.  Waves of tears kept coming.  I prayed about the sadness in my heart and asked for God's grace and love to help me as I grieve.  I felt a warm comfort come over me and the sadness lifted.  The peace I had the last few days with you returned. 

I thank God that he took you from the pain and frustration of illness you fought so courageously for many, many years.  You were even prepared to continue your fight even with the giant battle ahead of you due to a new cancer.  What a wonderful father and husband you are/were.  I love you so much.  I look forward to telling Madison stories about her Papa.  I will reinforce what she has said many times already "Papa loves me very much."  Yes, Madison he does.  He can't wait to see you in Heaven.
I love you Daddy.
Your Baby Doll,
LeAnn